I was watching tv, and I got bored. So I said to myself, "I'm gunna make another post in my blog." So, here I am, 3 days later making the post. LMAO. Seriously. Its the truth. So now, I'm at work, listening to ♪(music), and waiting on the Doc, so I can start driving. *sigh* I hate being forced to drive. I really can't stand it. So, something else has been bothering me(……just a segway: I see that this blog isn't as happy as I thought it would be. I seem to be venting more and more in this thing. I thought it was gunna be mostly pictures and shit….). As far as everything in my life goes(i.e. Relationships, school, work, etc.), I'm always labled as "great," "gifted," "special," above par," "smart," "the best ever," etc, but there are so many issues around it. There are so many doors closed to me, even though they shouldn't be. I mean, the people before me had the same doors open plus more, and they were viewed as well below par, let alone below me. I confront the appropriate people about these "doors," and I'm basically told "you seeing things. The doors are open. You have all the same paths available to you that they had, plus more." But I'm not dumb. Its not invisible. I can see the doors' shut. Its not a hologram, cause when I try to walk thru the doorway, I smash into the shit I see. And it hurts. So….wtf? Then, to top it all off, after all that pestering I do to get the real scoop, I find that these people closed the doors, and put "will return at…." signs on them. Yeah, they claim that they didn't close them "because of other peoples' actions"(cause they aren't closed). And in the same breath say, "Give it time," so….wtf? Contradiction in action.
They'll say something to lull me into a false sense of security, and get my hopes (up) high, just to shoot me (down), by procrastinating, or by "forgetting," or by flat out denying they ever said what they said. They'll even goes as far to give me the approval with no intentions of doing what was said, like its nothing. Like, letting me (down) doesn't matter. Like, lying doesn't matter. Like, giving me a false hope doesn't matter. Like YOUR credibility matters with everyone EXCEPT me. It feels like complete disrespect(not just the normal, "I've been disrespected," shit. Present progressive(^_^)).
-what does this lead (up) 2?-
It leaves me feeling like I'm being held back. If I put myself in a different situation, around different people, I may be able to fulfill what I want, get what I want, do what I want. The only thing is, there's always the (equal) chance that it could get worse.
I've heard people say that "God never closes a door without openning a window." Well, this windows are pretty high (up), and I don't have ladder, nor rope. And thru the closed windows that are at eye level, I can see what I want, but can't obtain…..the open doors.
-where's my glass cutter?….(*_*)
I don't have friends and foes
I have family and enimies