Well, as anyone who reads this blog will agree, when somethings on my
mind, I ponder and dissect it thoroughly, and longwindedly in an
"out-of-the-blue" manner(I know there's a word for that, but I decided
that even if I knew it/could think of it, my phrase better suites this
purpose). I'm actually surprised how show the subject of this post will
be. Here I go: She said, "I'm not ready to be with you." That, in and of
itself is fine. Some people want to live to a hight expectation, or
be special, or achieve something before they're with the one the want
the most. Fine. Its just when "…but I'll be with/commit to someone
else…." is added to the situation, that it becomes a problem. Not
ready to commit=cool. Not ready to commit specifically to you=issue. No
'wanting' to commit to you at all=cool. But there shouldn't really be
that grey area of, "I want to commit myself to this guy until it doesn't
work, then I'll prolly commit to you." And then, she has the nerve to
say its not settling for your 2nd choice…..but can't say what it is;
"its just different."
Things like that plummet my evaluation of self worth. I'm good for(and
am good enough for) a lot of things, but being having a commited gf, or
being a #1 top choice isn't among them.
Guess that's why he gets all the "baby daddy, lovey dobby" names in the
phonebook, while I've always been plain old "Nobi."
….Yup….those LITTLE things I look at….
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