….So last night I said I was pissed….

So, like clockwork, the truth is exposed. She said she was done, but it
wasn't (*DURP!!!*). So this time around, I don't even call dude. He
calls me. He comes at me. He tells me. He confronts her on my phone
cause she's ignoring him. She sleeps in my bed, instead of allowing him
back over. Confrontation happens, and then the story changes from:
•"I'm done with him" to "I'm done with him  now" & "I said I'm done
cause he said he's done"
•"Its over" to "I'm leaving him alone  now"
•"I don't care where he is" to "I'm not sure" & "I don't know"

Hmmmm……as an anecdote, its gotta look fucked …..

I actually threw . I got so pissed, that I vomited.

I'm sorry for cursing you out. No matter how much you may or may not
have deserved it, I've been keeping my cool. And I've been doing it for
you. I read, and learn mad shit to keep my cool, and ironically, I blew
my top. You wasted my time and effort and for what I'll never know.

I wasted 3 years of my life with you. No, 2 years. Cause the 1st year
was great, but we've, most basically, been breaking up for 2 fucking
years. Why? Cause I've always been "that nigga." When you ask for
another chance, you'd get it. Not because you deserved it, but because I
felt that you coming to me would mean you won't embarrass your fucking
self. You just don't stop digging, and I just couldn't stop giving
chances. Shit is ridiculous. You have a lot of growing  to do. You
said you don't know what you see in this nigga, and how he doesn't have
the drive to even get a job, or even get his fucking replacement id &
birth certificate, and how he doesn't provide shit in your house, how he
eats  everything, how he argues you  for no reason, how he keeps
you stressed, etc.

You keep telling him you don't see me, and don't talk to me, and how you
can't be with me.

What's funny is how the only time in the past year that you didn't like
me is when he asked about me. And vice versa for him. No matter what I
do for you, or have done for you, or am willing to do, or have
experienced with you, or have helped you work through, or have given
you, or anything. You're willing to throw it away.

For whatever reason, I've been running through a list of shit in my head
that was all for Alesia. It started last night, and grew just now:

I got you a job. I took you to work. I was a pillar who you could lean
on, and I encouraged it. I wanted to help. I kept your best interests in
my mind, not matter what it cost me. I was there to tell you to keep
your head up when you had family problems. I was a dry shoulder for you
to cry on. You cried your share of tears, and I know a fresh tee is a
lot more comforting than a wet one. I fed you, rubbed your feet,
massaged your back, loved you, fucked you, did whatever I could to make
you smile, and keep you laughing. Upset you, but always tried to make it
up. I let you sleep in my bed, eat my food and spend my money. I kissed
you, hugged you, and told you how special you were to me. I made my
priorities #2 to yours. I made your problems my problems. I cherished
your touch. I did things for you I never dreamed I see myself do for
anyone. I took your shit, and learned to live with it, cause living
without you was never an option. Even when I was pissed at you, I
treated you like nothing less than a Queen.

Its just refreshing to know that the last 3yrs have been one big ass
joke that I was the butt of. Thnx.

http://DaKORT.ning.com -Music Lovers Unite!! Join Us. Its FREE!!!
I don't have friends and foes
I have family and enemies
itsNobi
K.O.R.T.
-4-
Life

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